Fitness Hiatus

When I was in junior high, I was introduced to my first love.  And no, it was not the dreamy baseball player/singer-songwriter I lusted after from afar all through high school. 

It was exercise-induced adrenaline.  

I had recently begun to identify myself as something of an athlete.  Granted, it didn't take much to be one of the high-scorers on my junior high basketball team when we won only a handful of games.  Turned out, our starting lineup was better at fouling out of the game than hitting free-throws.  But still, I found a real thrill behind the rush of blood pumping my skinny 12-year-old legs up and down the court.

By the time I was shopping around for universities, a decent student rec center was situated right near the top of my 'must-have' list.  (And no, I was never even a close contender to be awarded an athletic scholarship). 

My decision to go to graduate school to become a Physical Therapist was not at all unrelated to my status as a full-on adrenaline-junkie, which I fully realized sometime during my undergraduate career.  

It was grad school where I found myself crammed in a windowless classroom, action-packed with kindred spirits and I decided to actually run that first marathon.  It was there also that I found one of my callings as an enthusiastic group fitness participant (boot camp!!) and later, instructor.

Stumbling out of bed in the wee hours of the morning to wrestle my way into a sports bra and spike my heart-rate before breakfast was no longer something I did, it was now a real part of something I *was*.

So, when I discovered I was pregnant one early fall morning, the news certainly didn't stand in the way of my scheduled run.  

I read obsessively about fitness and pregnancy.  The latest literature (and my OB) fully supported my innate desire to keep moving.  My healthy heart would mean baby would have a healthy heart, being fit meant a healthier delivery and less chance of complications like gestational diabetes and hypertension.  I was lucky to have very minimal musculoskeletal discomfort and except for cutting back on my running pace and weights, it was business as usual.  

Then my water broke and I delivered my son nine weeks early.  

My first question to the doctors was: did I do this?  Had I been *over* confident in my endeavors?  More than one doctor assured me that there was no way of knowing what had caused my tiny 3 lb baby to arrive when he did.  Maybe an undetected infection, but who knows. 

The reason for my 'premature rupture' was so unclear and considered to be so rare that I wasn't even considered 'high risk' as I entered my second pregnancy a mere eight months later (apparently I totally forgot how to prevent these things).

Still, just to be on the safe side, my doctor said, we would spend a little extra time checking my cervical length (which went unchecked during my last pregnancy).

And so with the blessing of the medical community, I cautiously continued my usual routine. 

Then, at 23 weeks (just past the halfway point and one week shy of having a 'viable birth') I got the news: my cervix was officially thinning

...and yes, that could have been the cause of my early delivery.

...and yes, I should now probably cut out the high-impact, high-intensity activities from my routine.

I hate to be melodramatic, but pregnancy hormones are powerful little bitches.  You see, the night after I got the news, I literally cried myself to sleep.  I woke up the next day with an emotional hangover and my body felt heavy like someone I loved had died (melodramatic enough for you?)

It's been just under two weeks since my 'modified bedrest' began and I'm coming to terms with the situation.  My work as a Physical Therapist is far from sedentary, but because I have been instructed to 'take it easy' I am learning to ask for help -- a request that is *way* outside my comfort zone.  

As I lay awake in my bed now, listening to the sounds of the springtime early morning, I am trying to be at peace with the situation.

Hitting the pause button on my workouts and not being super-woman at work are just the first of many sacrifices I will make for this little guy. 

I cannot pull on my running shoes, but I can lie here and feel my baby squirm around inside me, knowing that at least I am doing all I can to keep him safe. 

Meanwhile, the gym won't go anywhere, and I am still me.  

NOTE: PLEASE don't let post dissuade you from having an active pregnancy.  If you don't have a history of pre-term delivery or second trimester loss, it's unlikely you have cervical insufficiency. Still, many practices have recently started screening all women for cervical length at 20 weeks, and I would recommend discussing it with your OB during early visits.